Are you a thorn or are you a rose? This past week has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, I had no idea why I was feeling so down. It got me thinking a lot about self- sufficiency, what is it like being emotionally and intellectually independent? From what I have read self – sufficiency is very different to being independent; to be self- sufficient you need to be able to ask and also give help when necessary. The independent women idea is utter bull in my opinion, we always need the help of others, and it’s all about balance. I decided to dig deeper, because with every issue there is a source.
For the past 3 months I’ve been experiencing a taste of the not so fun long distance relationship; my better half is currently across the ocean on a 5 month training course for his new exciting job. We have been planning this new adventure for a while now, and with this great opportunity I knew my support and encouragement would make him very happy.
For the first few months everything was going great, after all, having this time apart couldn’t have come at a better time. I could now give all my attention to starting this blog which is something I’ve wanted to do for the longest time. I have also been working towards getting a promotion at work. It was perfect timing, and with all the long hours behind me I can happily say that I have achieved both my goals.
Which takes me back to thinking, why am I feeling this way? I should be happy shouldn’t I?
Then I realised, because I now have more free time on my hands I was starting to get bored and lonely. Going from spending each waking moment with your significant other can turn you into a bit of an attention seeking junkie. And because my man wasn’t here to give me all his attention, I was looking to my friends to fill that void. Which was kinda impossible because a friendship can’t fill a void that shouldn’t be there to begin with.
I asked myself over and over, why am I seeking fulfilment from others when I should be the one doing it for myself? A rose blooms regardless of anyone’s opinion of it, and that’s how I choose to
live my life. I have always been a bit of a loner, comfortable with spending time with myself, in fact I love alone time. It gives you time to figure things out, to set goals, to better yourself physically, emotionally and professionally. But don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to get stuck in your bubble which isn’t always healthy, so finding a good balance is essential. A balance of giving and receiving.
So here’s to a new chapter in my life, seeking to find a healthy state of self – sufficiency. To feeling secure and content with myself, and developing a deep rooted sense of inner completeness and stability.
Ask yourself, are you a rose, able to sustain yourself and able to bloom without reassurance or constant support from people or are you a thorn, constantly seeking affirmation and in need of people to make you feel valued?
We are all exceptional beings capable of fulfilling ourselves, no one knows you better than you know yourself. So bloom baby bloom…
About this look:
Green Mochino Corduroy Pants – Thrifted in Milan, Italy on my trip to the Salone Del Mobile.
T-Shirt – H&M
Sneaker – Stan Smiths